It's Not A Love Song, But It's Not Goodbye Either
by ipona
Summary: Preferring nicotine and artificial sweetener to black coffee isn't always a bad thing. Kink-meme de-anon. Tom/Shizuo, minor Shizuo/Izaya, smut


_A/N: So I made a quick step back to the DRRR!-fandom, because I love Tom/Shizuo. :D Are there even any Tom/Shizuo-fans left here? I have no idea, but I hope someone will enjoy this anyway. :D_

* * *

><p>"Tomtomtom, please, please, <em>more<em>."

Shizuo thrashed around on the soft sheets of Tom's bed, back arching and hands gripping tightly at Tom's back as the older man thrust into him. His hair was slicked against his face, eyes closed and mouth open and gasping. He was gorgeous, glorious, _beautiful_ in his very skin. Tom smiled, leaning down to kiss him, hard and deep, tongues twisting violently around. Teeth clanked together awkwardly, but he was too far gone to even care remotely.

Their sweat-soaked bodies moved together, and neither knew where one ended and the other began as they arched into each other, Tom deep inside Shizuo and finally flying over the edge. Shizuo reached down to stroke himself off with rough jerks – following Tom in bliss, body shaking and voice cracking into harsh moans and fast gasps.

"Ahh, ah, T- tom."

Tom pressed his sweaty forehead against Shizuo's as the blonde came down slowly from the high of orgasm. When brown, beautiful eyes opened again, staring into Tom's with an intensity he couldn't bear, Tom leaned in, kissing him again – but slower this time, sweet and sensual but emptied of any sexual desire to leave place for affection and – _love_, perhaps.

Hands gripped at Tom's waist, weaker than they ever were outside of these moments, but still bone-crushingly strong and powerful. Panting and exhausted, Tom slipped off, laying down on his side on the bed next to Shizuo. Shizuo's left hand was still stuck under Tom's waist and his right arm came up to rest over his face.

"You feeling alright?" Tom smiled, tracing aimless patterns on Shizuo's arm, eyes fastened on the man's face.

"Ngh," Shizuo groaned, trying to get his voice back. "'m fine."

Tom chuckled lightly, taking Shizuo's hand in his, kissing it softly, "You seem a bit out of breath." Shizuo just glanced at him from beneath his arm, and smiled shyly before closing his eyes, falling asleep fast.

It was rare moments like this, when they lay together in his bedroom, light seeping in through the blinds, that Tom learned to cherish, these moments when Shizuo was calm and sleepy beneath his hands, and they could share this moment of peace and quiet, away from the busy and noisy streets of this city, away from people, clients, those in service and those in debt, and – away from a certain someone, who rips every seam, who tears down every wall, who crushes every bit of sanity left in Shizuo's body, without shame and right before Tom's eyes.

Away from them _(him)_, they are happy and content _(and in love, perhaps)_.

Shizuo fell asleep in the hazy afterglow and Tom sat up, grabbed a cigarette from the package on the bedside table and lit it. Inhaling the smoke deeply and sending a glance at his lover, he fell into deep thought. He couldn't figure Shizuo out, couldn't see what went on in that blonde head of his. Tom reached down to caress the man's rough hair. All that dye didn't exactly do it good, and it certainly wasn't as soft as it had been.

Yes, Shizuo's head was unknown territory, but as far as Tom knew, he should appreciate this time with him. Because really, with Izaya running around, tight little body, intense eyes and unmistakably sexual attraction towards Shizuo, it was only a matter of time until the two ended up in a bed somewhere.

Well, maybe a filthy back alley sounded more likely, considering it _was_ Izaya, but Tom really didn't want to think about that.

Taking final drag at his cigarette, Tom turned to put it out against the ash tray before he crept down next to Shizuo. He could feel the man's slowly beating heart, his calm breathing moving his torso in a slow rhythm, and he smiled into the skin of the man's back. He was going to cherish this. Always. Because Shizuo was unlike anyone he had ever met before, effectively riling him up, lighting a fire inside of him and making his heart skip a beat with nothing but a glance from dark eyes.

Tom was in love, every fibre of his body singing when Shizuo was close.

_This is now, tomorrow doesn't matter_, was the last thought through Tom's head as he fell asleep next to Shizuo, head resting against his back, entire being lulling at the calming beat of a strong heart.

.

"When's our next appointment?" Shizuo asked as he straightened his clothes. Of course he had gotten pissed off again. Of course he had gotten into a fight. Fight wasn't really the correct wording for it though. Senseless beating was more like it.

"13.30. So we've got time for lunch," Tom yawned and stretched. "What do you say about Russian Sushi? Haven't seen Simon in a while."

"Sure, that's fine."

They arrive at the restaurant to the sound of Simon's cheery and heavily accented voice; "Hey, Shizuo! And Tom-san! Come in! What you want for lunch today?"

Tom glanced at Shizuo, who looked almost bored, and made their orders. He knew what Shizuo liked and disliked way too well for an employer – well, so would most people say at least. Tom didn't really mind, and neither did Shizuo.

They sat down in silence, like so many other times before, eating the rice, vegetables and... questionable meat on their plates. It tasted good though, as Simon's food usually did, and Tom complimented the chef, who stood close to their table to chat and catch up. Tom didn't mind. He liked Simon. The huge Russian was friendly and he was the only one who could deal with Shizuo when the blonde got riled up. Just like Tom was the only one besides Kasuka who could prevent the riling up in the first place.

Shizuo seemed a bit absent though. He looked out over the restaurant idly, scanning the large glass windows, almost as if he was looking for something. Whatever he was looking for was obviously not there today and he turned back to the food in front of him, changing his focus to what Tom and Simon were discussing by his side.

Once again Tom found himself caught in wonder of what was moving beneath those tousled, blond locks – just what kind of thoughts were moving inside Shizuo's head when his eyes became distant and pondering.

As they finished their meal, Simon happily chattering and Tom answering politely, Shizuo tensed up again, and as they left the restaurant, Tom finally figured out why Shizuo's entire being was rigid as if he was walking on nails.

Outside Russian Sushi, on the crowded street were the only man whose mere presence made Tom's body go cold, a feeling of something rotten going through him, alarming every single cell.

He had always thought Izaya had the same effect on Shizuo – years and years of chasing and beating, verbal and physical abuse against one another definitely led one to assume so. But what Tom had seen in Shizuo's eyes for the last couple of months defied all of that.

It was almost the same look Shizuo's face would catch when he entered Tom's apartment late at night without knocking, when the day had been so stressful that he just needed to bend Tom over a table and fuck his brains out, a little too roughly – or when he laid against pristine white sheets, when Tom would slowly take both of their clothes off and whisper promises of sweet, _sweet_ lovemaking into his ear until he begged for it to come true.

That look. The one of want, of desire, of pure _sex_.

Tom was getting uncomfortable with this, no doubt.

And even more alarmed did he become when Shizuo paid no attention to the black-clad man's presence and just continued down the street in the opposite direction.

"So, where to next?" were Shizuo's only words. Tom pulled the note with the address out of his pocket and tried to ignore the way his stomach tangled and twisted with a feeling he couldn't put words on.

.

Shizuo's lips moved slowly, lazily, against Tom's. His slender form was stretched out over his employer's on the bed, hands tangled in his dark dreads and legs on either side of his waist, while Tom was beneath him, trying to convey the same loving, the same raw passion as Shizuo always had seeping through his pores.

"Mm," Shizuo hummed against Tom's mouth and kissed more fleetingly, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth before he sat up, pulling the old t-shirt he wore (and would only wear when he was home where no one but Tom would see him) over his head, throwing it elsewhere. Shizuo's toned abs were revealed to Tom and he ran his eyes over Shizuo's body as his hands roamed and stroked, nails creating friction and fingertips creating heat.

Shizuo was as close to perfect as anyone would come, Tom was sure of this. Sure, he had his quirks (only Tom would ever call them quirks, others would often refer to them as big fucking issues that needed to be looked at) but when Tom saw him like this, raw and uncovered in front of him, having dropped his guard and trusting him completely, he couldn't help but wanting to claim him and make him _his_, and only his for eternity.

"I think I love you." The words just blurted out of Tom's gasping mouth and the second he figured out what he had said, he regretted it. Shizuo's eyebrows creased and his eyes narrowed and he looked almost sad, that thoughtful expression on his face returning as he put his guard up again, to Tom's despair.

"Okay," was the only answer he gave, and he pressed a quick (and quite awkward, if Tom were to be honest) kiss to his lips before he got off him and turned around on the bed, pulling the covers over him. He was closing Tom out and Tom could do nothing but sit where he sat, grab a cigarette and light it.

As the smoke formed shapeless clouds around his head, he felt lost. He wanted Shizuo to be happy, _god_, if anyone deserved to be happy, it was Shizuo and if he wasn't happy with him, then he could deal with that.

He wasn't sure he could deal with Shizuo being happy with _Izaya_ though.

He looked at the bunched up covers which Shizuo's messy hair struck up from under. He looked tense and there was no doubt that the man was not at all trying to sleep.

If Shizuo was happy, he was happy, Tom decided as he leaned down to blow into Shizuo's ear. The blonde twitched in annoyance and Tom chuckled and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

After he had put out his cigarette, he laid down and tugged at Shizuo's arm. Shizuo rolled over and met his eyes. Tom didn't know for how long they were there, just staring at each other. A smile played over Tom's face and he reached out to pull the other man close by the waist. While reluctant at first, Shizuo accepted the embrace and laid an arm around Tom's frame.

_This is now, whatever happens tomorrow is something else_. The mantra Tom had built up flew through his head as they drifted off to sleep in each other's warmth.

.

"Listen, we don't want any trouble. Just get us the money and everything is going to be alright," Tom sighed and massaged his temples.

"I don't have any money, I didn't-"

He didn't get further than that before Shizuo grabbed him by the collar, "We don't have time for your bullshit."

How the man didn't shit his pants at the mere sight of Shizuo's furious face and the death grip he had on his collar, was beyond Tom.

"I don't approve of violence, but he's right, we all want to go home, so if you would be so kind," Tom said, casually catching the man's eyes.

Shizuo's grip tightened on his shirt and he looked close to tears as he spoke, "Okay, okay, I will have the money by tomorrow!"

Tom sighed, "Not the answer I was hoping for, but it'll do," he turned around. "Come on Shizuo. We'll be back tomorrow then."

And when they turned around, _he_ appeared in front of them, as if from thin air, a silhouette of sharp black against a grey and shapeless city. Tom tensed and he felt Shizuo do the same by his side.

_Izaya_.

"Ah, Shizu-chan, what brings you to this part of town?"

"None of your fucking business, flea," Shizuo snapped, but Tom couldn't ignore the fact that Shizuo hadn't dashed yet, as he usually did when the other man was nearby. Instead, his body was tense and anxious.

"You wound me," Izaya smirked.

"Get out of my way before I wound you for real."

"Oh?" Izaya's smirk grew even wider. "Why don't you come here and try?"

A grim smile rose to Shizuo's lips as well, "You asked for it, flea."

And he charged. There was no time for Tom to do or say anything before the two men had taken off and were already around a corner.

Usually Shizuo would calm down if Tom interfered, there was a trust there that he cherished. He didn't want to think about what could happen when the two of them ended up alone together. There was nothing he could do about it anyway, so why even ponder? Instead he turned his steps towards his apartment.

All he could do was hope.

.

"Izaaayaaa-kun, come out so I can kill your fucking flea ass."

"Oh come now, Shizu-chan, you wouldn't do that," Shizuo whipped around in the narrow alleyway, following the sound of Izaya's voice. The black-clad man stood almost right behind him.

"Yes, I _fucking_ would."

Izaya's smile was so wide, Shizuo was sure it could rip his face in two if it got any more stretched out. He just wanted to rip that pretty little head off of his-

Shizuo had to stop himself there as Izaya closed in on him.

"No," Izaya was close now, close enough for him to press a finger to Shizuo's chest, trailing down lower on his stomach, "I don't think you would. If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to do this."

And with that, he closed the distance between their lips. Shizuo was taken aback at first, but before long, his desire got the better of him and he kissed back roughly and pressed Izaya harshly against the wall of the alley. Shizuo hissed as Izaya bit down on his lip _hard_.

"Bitch," he put his hand to his lips. "Get that whore mouth to better work." He pushed at Izaya's shoulders and surprisingly easily the man fell to his knees and began to work at his pants, at releasing his half-hard dick.

"If you bite it, I'll snap your neck."

"So crude."

"Shut up, flea."

.

The doorbell rang, shrill and loud through Tom's apartment. The man pulled back his messy dreads into a ponytail and raised from the sofa, "I'm coming, I'm coming."

He opened the door slightly, seeing Shizuo's blonde hair, he closed it to unlock it fully before he swung it open. "Hey," Shizuo murmured softly as he looked at his superior from underneath crisp bangs.

"Hey," Tom said and stepped aside, "Come on in."

Shizuo stepped inside, quietly slipping his shoes and coat off. Tom closed the door behind him and stepped into the small kitchen, "Coffee?"

"No thanks."

"Tea? I have lots of sugar."

"Alright."

While Tom put on a pot of tea, Shizuo sat down on Tom's old sofa, looking around the room and tapping his foot nervously. And then suddenly, Tom stood in the doorway, eyeing his lover – _or whatever the hell they were_.

"Got that out of your system now?"

"I'm so sorry, Tom."

Tom chuckled quietly to himself and took a step into the room, "Don't worry about it," he sat down next to the blonde and put a hand on his thigh, stroking softly, "You came back here, didn't you?"

Shizuo looked up at the ceiling, biting his lip and Tom once again wondered what was going on in the man's head, what he was pondering on and on about, and why he wouldn't share it with Tom.

"What's on your mind?"

A small smile flashed on Shizuo's lips and his eyes met Tom's again and suddenly it didn't matter what went on in Shizuo's head, because before Tom knew it, he was being kissed – loving and deep and _perfect_, and _nothing_, nothing mattered. Not work, not Dollars, not Saika, not the black rider, _and definitely not Izaya._

When they pulled away, Shizuo's eyes were still closed and he licked his lips, humming and smiling softly. Tom chuckled and tilted his head to the side, "What?"

"Taste good," he murmured and opened his eyes, brown orbs finding Tom's. "Izaya tasted like lies and bitter coffee."

"You prefer risky business, nicotine and artificial sweetener?"

Shizuo leaned closer, as if seeking Tom's heat, "Yeah," he murmured against his lips, and kissed him again, slow, sweet, and for the first time – Tom really dared to think – _loving_.


End file.
